I hate Wednesdays. But this Wednesday I enjoyed:
- The Moonlight cast posing for Calvin Klein after their magnificent Oscars win.
- This article on How to Meet A Guy Before Patriarchy is Dismantled.
- Young Justin Trudeau
A moment of nerdery that is also close to home: scientists have a theory about why we don’t recognise or like hearing our recorded voices played back.
The answer is interesting (and my title is a spoiler alert) but it’s also something I struggle with. I find it so hard to listen back to my speeches or interviews, but I know it’s one of the best ways to improve and to learn what you do well too.
So, grit your teeth, listen back to yourself and learn to be a better public speaker. And if it sounds like a hot mess, it’s probably all in your head.
2017 is many things so far, but for me personally, it’s the year (ok, I started this towards the end of last year) that I take care of myself.
Not in a New-Years-Resolution-Fitness-Craze sort of way; more of a commitment.
Committing to my health spiritually, emotionally, physically, mentally.
Committing to living the life I have, not looking backwards and being trapped in nostalgia or straining forwards waiting for it to “begin”.
Committing to the people in my life by showing up and allowing myself to be seen; and taking the time to see, listen and love my family, friends and colleagues.
Commit to doing all the things that I’ve been putting off out of fear or waiting to have someone to do them with.
Aside from all of that, I’ve been watching, listening to and reading some new stuff – new to me, so don’t stone me for being late to many proverbial parties.
Baggage Reclaim: A site that’s about all things relationships. Not just romantic relationships, I hasten to add. Natalie Lue writes with wit, kindness, humour and directness about self-esteem, love and life. It’s therapeutic.
Very Smart Brothas: Sharp commentary that makes me laugh darkly at least once a day because: truth. eg Dear White People Who Write Things: People Who Voted for a Blatant Racist are Fine With Racism (It’s Not That Hard).
Tiny Letters: Yes, I know everyone has been all about this for maybe two years but it’s a great email newsletter from all your faves. Bim Adewumni, whose own one (entitled …fuck is this? ) is fantastic and here she’s compiled a handy list of some other good ones. 2017 may be the year I start my own.
This Is Us: Listen. I am not a sappy person. (start of this post notwithstanding). I like to think of myself as a soft boiled egg: yes, a little gooey on the inside but there’s a robust buffer and a resilient shell to crack through first. I like my TV sharp and either funny and dark (Crazyhead), action-packed and dark (Banshee) or somewhat creepy and dark (Penny Dreadful). Throw in the odd trashy drama (Nashville – but I blame my love of country music for this) and I’m set. What I do not do is sweet. This is Us is sweet and funny and has me all up in my feelings every damn episode. It’s about a family and all the frustrating/beautiful/slightly bonkers things that families do. It’s also a wider commentary on society, race… there’s a lot, okay. And it undoes me every time.
Podcasts: I’ve added Melanin Millenials to my listening mix. Right now, my favourites are the Baggage Reclaim podcast (linked to the aforementioned blog), NPR’s Code Switch podcast (filling that chasm left when Melissa Harris Perry departed our screens) and Death, Sex and Money (Presenter Anna Sale has a gloriously intimate interviewing style that draws the best out of her subjects and one of the loveliest presenting voices to boot).
Music: Lee Moses is on repeat for me right now. His track Bad Girl is raw soul.
I don’t have a hot take in me for the events of today: the Turkey attack. Germany’s. The news that UK-made cluster bombs are being used in Yemen. Amnesty’s report accusing the Burmese military of perpetrating crimes against humanity against the Rohingya.
Right now we need the arts more than ever: poets, comedians, artists, sculptors, writers, painters…
So a poet then, with the words for these times:
“later that night
i held an atlas in my lap
ran my fingers across the whole world
where does it hurt?
everywhere.” – Warsan Shire
I’m on a break, winding up the year and preparing for the next. This Kermit meme just slayed me:
I say this as part of the community, as a member of the tribe.
Christians can be hypocritical, judgmental, cruel, tin-eared, venal, and all the other adjectives for the base things humans do.
We can also be loving, sacrificial, compassionnate noble, kind and all the other adjectives for the inspired things humans do.
Then there’s this:
I have long been a fan of Issa Rae and her particular brand of wry humour. I loved Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl and I’ve just finished watching her new show, Insecure.
I can’t recommend it enough. It’s funny but painfully real. The secondary characters are well-developed and I love how complex the lead character is. It’s the sort of complexity that’s usually reserved for male characters, who are never under pressure to be likeable. Issa is flawed, human, hilarious. Real.
But for me personally, her best friend Molly really resonates. Her series of dating dramas just speak to me powerfully and I know I’m not alone. There are so many great characters in the show and her portrayal of that interconnected web of relationships, colleagues and friends is just pitch perfect.
At the moment, watching this, Atlanta and Crazyhead, I feel like I’ve been spoiled for good TV with Black leads. Susan Wokoma (Crazyhead) played my favourite character in Chewing Gum and in Crazyhead she tears up every scene she is in, giving it attitude, pathos, reserve and humour as appropriate and with ease, switching gears with a quiet self-assurance. I hope to see more of her and that we don’t lose her to the States when Crazyhead lands there this month*
*I wish her well of course. But if we want to keep talent like hers on this side of the pond, the roles need to be there. I hope the industry takes note!
I am having a nerdy week. So to kick it off, here’s a fascinating TED talk on how language betrays our thoughts on equality.
Language matters to me a great deal. I believe that one of the scariest things about this “post-truth, post-facts” age is that the language we use is slipping. It’s not the vintage racial slurs that are back in fashion; what’s sending my bat senses mad is the framing of issues around equality – be it racial, gender etc.
These are being framed as an “elite” concern and it’s not just the right, it’s liberals too, who are talking down “identity politics” like it’s a merry game we’ve all been playing in the last few years for our own amusement, and now it’s time to get back to the serious business of dealing with class and economics. (and Whiteness as the default. It’s not said, but the erasure of other groups is a whitewashing.)
It’s frightening though how that then informs what is “authentic” and worthy of political action. So, working class people of colour are erased in favour of dealing with white working class grievances. Which are just presented as neutral working class. This authenticity dovetails into the discussion on nationalism which is only celebrated for its imperialism; any efforts to colour in the picture with the contributions of people of colour and indeed the effects of this imperialism on other people’s globally is seen as somehow inauthentic and invalid. Identity politics again.
Who we consider authentic has a bearing on citizenship. As we expand the hostile environment and move the endless border to encroach ever more on the lives of citizens – the rental market, at the doctor, where you are asked to perform citizenship again and again it throws into stark relief who is more likely to be considered “foreign” and therefore singled out. Every time you’re singled out it’s a reminder that you don’t belong, regardless of what your papers may say.
So, language matters. Framing matters too, because it shapes how we discuss the matters at hand. The right’s biggest victory has been in reframing the discussion on immigration, citizenship, belonging, Europe etc and liberalism’s failure is in trying to win on that turf.
We need to mind our words. They betray what we’re really thinking.
I am an avid fan of the Eloquent Woman blog, which I’ve mentioned here before. And in a thoughtful post, the speech trainer Denise Graveline reflects on Melania Trump’s disastrous speech in which she plagiarised Michelle Obama:
“No matter how you vote, I think it’s a shame that this happened to a woman speaker on only her second speech of the campaign. The Republican National Convention had just 34% female speakers on the stage, with this speech the most prominent by a woman. I’m ending the week feeling as if Melania Trump was not, at a minimum, well supported for this now-famous speech, in both the speech preparation and the spokesmanship about the controversy. In the end, this major stumble at what might have been the start of a high-profile speaking career is going to dog her steps going forward. Should she become First Lady, she might well want to avoid speaking publicly, which would be a big step backward for that role. This will frame her media coverage and her credibility. Her unfavorable rating was high going into the convention, and it will only increase now. And it should. In the end, the responsibility for a speech begins and ends with the speaker, no matter how many speechwriters you throw under the bus.” – Denise Graveline
In a subsequent post, Denise looks at the Melania memes. I like this post because although I’m no fan of the Trumps and I think Melania pales in comparison to Michelle Obama, she makes some good points about women in public life and how some of the mocking of Melania tips into slut-shaming and misogyny. Even if we disagree with her, she should be heard (and vociferously disagreed with).
“Even if we don’t agree with what she might say, we shouldn’t be about silencing her… I still plan to hold her to account for her words or her delivery, if those become a problem at a policy level or provide a poor example.” – Denise Graveline.
I think her post is a good reminder that as we go into the next eight years (I guess) of Trump, we should not shy away from challenging him and his policies, but we should be mindful of not letting that tip over into something more nasty. And while Melania married a dangerous bigot and is unelected, she will still be part of the Trump infrastructure in the White House so we should not discourage her from speaking. As the proverb goes, we should let them hang themselves by their own petard.
As the unparalleled current FLOTUS said, “When they go low, we go high”.
So, that happened.
As I’m writing about it in other capacities, which I will post here later, all I’ll say for now is this: