Things I think about at 1am when I can’t sleep

1. Is my hairline receding or are my baby hairs just really fragile?

2. If I go down to get a glass of water and I fall, I live alone so technically it could be days before someone comes to find me.

3. My hairline is fine. Totally fine.

4. I should get a cat. Or a puppy. A cat. I’m adopting a cat, like, tomorrow.

5. DID I TURN THE OVEN OFF?

6. Ugh, I’m too warm to figure it out.

7. I am thirsty, though.

8. Nah, not that thirsty.

9. My hairline *is* somewhat damaged, maybe.

10. If I was married, I could have my husband get me the glass of water *and* check on the oven.

11. Repeat: That is not a reason to get married.

12. If I got a cat, maybe I could train it to run for help if I fell down the stairs?

13. Grandma got married at 35, so there’s still time. Needing a glass of water is still not a reason to get married, though.

15. I can’t get a pet, I killed my cactus*. Plus, I’ve been abandoned by a cat before*

16. *yawns* My hairline is fine.

*An unfortunate incident involving boiling water and eggshells.

*A childhood cat who moved into the American Embassy up the road for their imported cat food. (This was in Malawi)

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