There’s a lot to be discussed when it comes to President Hollande’s indiscretions with French actor Julie Gayet. Privacy, celebrity culture, press standards, the status of First lady/partner/girlfriend – and just how he found the time – but pushing all those meaty issues to one side, Hollande’s response to one of the two tentative questions about the affair in this week’s press conference amuses me. English translations run:  “Hollande said his indignation is total.”

I know this sounded so much more badass in French. It really sums up the all-encompassing fury. I can think of further uses:

– When someone finishes the last cupcake/biscuit: My disappointment is TOTAL.

– When people stand on the left hand side of the Tube* escalator: My frustration is TOTAL.

– When Borgen ended: My grief was TOTAL.

* Becoming a Londoner involves tapping into rage that you didn’t know you had. It’s only since living in The Smoke that I’ve added things like standing on the wrong side of escalators (or at the top of escalators, or at Tube entrances) to my list of absolutely unacceptable things that human beings can do.




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