First, establish the sequence of events and what *exactly* you are apologising for. (and what you’re not)
Attention to detail is key.
Admit….something. Not necessarily the thing you did (flat-out lied), but…you know, something. Say sorry….sort of.
Exit stage left as if the medium, not your message, was the problem.
Result: Just specific and yet vague enough to be slightly confusing.
Just enough genuine regret to qualify as an apology and convey some sincerity…
but with enough careful maneouvering to feel like you missed the point.